You survived a cardiac event. The physical healing may be underway but what about your story?
The way we speak about our health can quietly shape how we live with that health event. One small but important change in phrasing—saying “a heart attack” or “the heart attack” instead of “my heart attack” can make a significant difference in how you relate to the event, your self-identity, and your recovery.
Listen here and read on for more ...
Why Language Matters
At first glance, this might seem like semantics. After all, the cardiac event is real. The damage has been done. Whether you say “my heart attack” or “a heart attack,” the facts remain.
But language is far more than a neutral vehicle, it’s a tool that structures how we think about our experience.
When we say “my heart attack,” we risk embedding the event into our identity: I am the person who had a heart attack. It becomes a label, a badge we carry. That label can bring heaviness, fear, and helplessness.
In contrast, saying “a heart attack” or “the heart attack” acknowledges the event without letting it define the core of who we are. It creates distance, and that distance gives space for agency. You are not simply the person who had a heart attack – you are a courageous individual who experienced a heart attack, and you are now moving forward.
The Evidence Behind Distancing Language
Psychological research shows that language which creates distance from an event or emotion – sometimes called linguistic distancing – correlates with better emotional outcomes. Higher linguistic distance is associated with better regulation of emotion and lower mental health symptoms.
Similarly, the concept of people-first language (for example, saying “a person with diabetes” rather than “a diabetic”) is widely promoted in healthcare communication. This emphasises personhood rather than condition.
While many studies focus on mental health, the principle also holds for physical health diagnoses. Naming the event without letting it define you helps reclaim part of your narrative.
What This Shift Invites
- Distance = Perspective
By saying “a heart attack” or “the heart attack,” you create a subtle but powerful distance: there’s you and there’s the event. That distance allows you to view it as something that happened to you, rather than something that is you.
- Agency and Active Recovery
Distance brings choice. You can manage your symptoms, strengthen your body, and make lifestyle changes. When you are not defined by the event, you are freer to respond to it.
- Self-Identity Beyond the Diagnosis
Long-term healing often involves reclaiming your sense of self beyond the illness. Language that constantly labels you as the illness can limit hope, motivation, and a broader sense of identity.
- Reducing Burden and Fear
Phrases like “my heart surgery” can feel possessive, as if the event has taken up residence inside you. Saying “the heart surgery” creates space for: “This happened. It’s over (though consequences remain). Now, what do I do?”
How to Make the Shift – One Word at a Time
- Notice your language: When you catch yourself saying “my heart attack,” pause.
- Rephrase: “I had a heart attack,” “There was a heart attack that changed my life,” or “I’m recovering from a heart attack.”
- Shift your self-talk: Internal dialogue matters as much as spoken words.
- Be mindful when sharing publicly: Family, friends, or support groups can notice and reflect the language you choose.
- Give yourself permission: Sometimes “my heart attack” will feel natural—and that’s okay. The goal is conscious awareness, not perfection.
Extending the Principle
This approach can apply to many health challenges:
- “A migraine” instead of “my migraine”
- “The cancer diagnosis” instead of “my cancer”
- “Living with depression” rather than “my depression”
It reminds us that the condition is something in your life, not the whole of your life. It’s a chapter, not the entire book.
Considerations and Nuance
Yes, context matters. Sometimes saying “my illness” feels meaningful, acknowledging your journey. That can be empowering.
The key is intention: Are you saying “my heart attack” to reflect ownership and agency? Or because it feels like the event defines, confines, or overwhelms you?
Personal preference and cultural nuance also play a role. Some people find identity-affirming language helpful because it acknowledges lived experience. The important part: choose language that empowers you and be aware of how words influence feelings.
A Call to Wider Change
Imagine if healthcare systems adopted the same sensitivity in language:
- Doctor’s notes: “A diagnosis of coronary disease” instead of “your heart disease.”
- Healthcare professionals: “We’ll support you in managing symptoms” rather than “We’ll fight your illness.”
- Written materials: “People recovering from a cardiac event” instead of “heart attack survivors.”
These subtle shifts can collectively move the narrative from illness defines the person → person engages with illness.
Final Words
You are not your illness.
You are not your heart attack.
You are not your heart surgery.
You are not your heart disease.
You are someone brave enough to walk a challenging path, someone who is recovering, rebuilding, and renewing. So when you next speak of that cardiac event, consider:
“A cardiac event changed my life.”
That small shift in phrasing is more than words – it’s a step toward reclaiming your story and thriving again.
Additional Thoughts for You
- Start small: You don’t need to overhaul your language overnight. Notice, reflect, and shift intentionally.
- Be compassionate: Some days, “my illness” feels natural and that’s okay. Awareness is key.
- Share your insight: Talk with family, friends, or support groups about how language influences you.
- Seek support: Emotional burdens don’t have to be faced alone. Lean on therapy, communities, or trusted networks.
- Celebrate your progress: Every time you choose empowering language, you reinforce a healthier story.
