Love, Intimacy & Sex after a Heart Attack or Surgery

This may be the last thing on your mind when you first come out of the hospital, but how do you get the zing back into your love life after an event or surgery? Well, read on to rediscover love, intimacy and sex after a heart attack or surgery.

Listen here and read on below ….

Start by Following Medical Advice

Firstly, please remember that you should always follow your doctor’s advice before taking part in sexual activity after a heart attack, cardiac arrest or surgery.

For the first 6-8 weeks after coming home from the hospital, you should rest. So, when you are ready to become more intimate with your partner, there are a few things to remember.

Understanding Common Changes in Intimacy

It is very common for patients who have undergone heart surgery or had a heart attack or cardiac arrest to experience some issues with sex and intimacy.

If you have suffered from high blood pressure, you may be experiencing erectile dysfunction, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, pain or not reaching orgasm.

It may be that the thought of trying to be intimate or have sex with your partner is causing enough distress without the physical act.

Talk About It – Communication Is Key

Your first port of call should be talking about it. Explaining to your partner, doctor, friend, or family member how you feel is a positive step. Even the act of sharing your thoughts and feelings is an intimate moment and can make you feel closer to your partner.

It’s important to remember that your partner is on this journey with you, and they may be experiencing their own mix of emotions. They might feel anxious about triggering another heart event, unsure how to approach intimacy, or even guilty about wanting closeness while wanting to respect your recovery. Many partners also feel a sense of hyper-vigilance, constantly checking that you’re okay, which can be emotionally exhausting. Open communication is key, acknowledging their feelings, sharing concerns, and reassuring each other can strengthen your bond and help both of you navigate this sensitive time together.

When Medication Affects Your Sex Life

Sometimes the issues can be related to some of the medications you are on. Always speak to your doctor or pharmacist if you think this may be the case, as they may be able to make some changes. Your heart health is more important than anything else, so if you need the medication, you must take it. Your doctor can look to see if they can prescribe something for erectile dysfunction that will be effective and safe when living with a heart condition.

For the Ladies: Comfort and Confidence

Ladies, if you feel as though you are quite dry down there, which can cause some pain or discomfort, then look for some lubricant to make things run smoother. Just don’t be shy, sex is good cardio exercise and releases lots of feel-good hormones.

Can Sex Cause Another Heart Attack?

One of the most common questions I am asked about having sex is, “Could it cause another heart attack or event?”

If this is the case, then again, please talk to your doctor. Some patients may need longer than others to recover so make sure you get the all-clear before getting between the sheets. If you have been given the all-clear, then, a little exercise will be good for you! It doesn’t have to be a marathon, just a short sprint can be enough to get the heart going and make you feel better. It can also help your recovery!

Adjusting to Changes in Your Body

Maybe you are worried about how your body has changed. It could look and feel different from how it used to. One of the effects of surgery is that you can be left with scars. You may feel you have aged or lost condition. All common feelings.

Just remember that your partner loves all of you. The inside and the outside! For better, for worse, in sickness and in health. (Married or not!) If you are conscious of your body now, remember that you won’t feel like this forever. Scars do fade, body condition comes back and we can all hide age if needed! Your self-esteem will come back with time and you will feel like yourself again!

Personally, I haven’t had OHS, but my body is covered in scars from previous operations; the count to date is XXXX. I have grown to love my scars; they tell the story of my life!

Redefining Intimacy — Beyond Sex

If you don’t feel like having sexy time yet, there are other ways to be intimate with your partner.

Romance is not dead! Sharing a candle-lit meal or a short walk in the park holding hands can be a great way to spend time with your partner. It will make you feel instantly closer to them without engaging in sex. Start dating again.

Remember, your partner is experiencing this transition too. They may feel a mix of relief, anxiety, and even uncertainty about how to be close without causing stress or discomfort. Engaging in non-sexual forms of intimacy – holding hands, sharing meals, cuddling, or simply sitting together – not only helps you feel connected but also reassures your partner. These small moments of closeness allow both of you to rebuild trust, feel safe, and share emotional support as you navigate recovery together.

The Power of Emotional Connection

Talking about how you feel is the best way to share intimacy. Don’t be scared to start the conversation off! The nerves you may be feeling are good! Your nervous system is linked to your sexual organs and this itself could be enough for arousal.

And don’t forget cuddling or spooning! Just being close to your partner and holding each other is enough to show love. Showing your appreciation for their support and love throughout this time in your life will keep the magic alive in your relationship until you are ready to be physical with them.

Take Your Time and Be Kind to Yourselves

Above all take your time and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner. Your cardiac diagnosis has been a huge change to your life and will take time to navigate. Show each other some love (try a love note or letter) and share your feelings.

Connection, kindness, and patience will lead the way to rediscovering intimacy – both in and out of the bedroom.