What on earth is a self-soothing toolbox, Sallie? Sounds like something you would give a toddler when having an epic meltdown in the supermarket? Well in reality yes, it’s not all that different actually.
As it’s probably not socially acceptable to throw yourself on the floor and scream like a toddler would, when adults are overwhelmed or feel like they cannot cope with their thoughts or feelings they also need a way to self-soothe, just like a toddler would. (Although screaming into a pillow is ok if needed!)
Listen here for more or read on ….
A self-soothe toolbox is something that is individual to you and is your emergency kit when the worry, stress, and anxiety kick in. All of which are known to increase the risk of heart attacks and cardiac events.
It can be so easy to resort to a temporary solution that may be hazardous to your health. Drinking or comfort eating is two examples of this.
Creating your own self-soothe box is a solution that will improve your mental and physical health and will be something you just go to automatically in the long run.
How to make your own self-soothe box
The whole point of this is to have something handy there you can open when you feel overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious.
At home, you can pick a container or box that you can decorate yourself to keep all the things that will help you to feel happy, calm, and relaxed.
If it’s a cardboard box you can decorate this with fabric or wrapping paper. (Even the process of decorating your soothe box can be soothing in itself!) Pick a print that you love. Birds, trees, cars, motorbikes, planes or smiley faces; anything you can look at and instantly feel happy.
You could even use an old treasure chest from your childhood or any container that you like that can store items in.
Now that you have your box nicely decorated you can start to fill it with things that will help you to overcome these negative thoughts and feelings.
Items to place in your self-soothe box
Photographs of the good times
A hen/stag party you went on, your first family holiday, your wedding pictures, your dog digging a hole on the beach. The list is endless with photos. Just pick a few that bring a smile to your face (not tears, unless its happy tears)
Your favourite films/TV series
If you are old school put in a few DVDs. If you are a modern-day person who can stream then just leave a list in there of all the films and TV series which make you smile. Old and new ones, and update the list regularly so you can go through them all.
A list of places you want to visit or have visited
You can even put in lists of places you want to visit or have visited that you loved. Even if it’s only your own garden.
CDs, tapes, cassettes, or song lists
Are you a lover of music? Music is a powerful tool for influencing our moods and emotions. Put a list of songs in that lift your mood (or CDs if you are old school)
A podcast list
Podcasts that inspire you or meditation audio that helps you to relax. Have it ready to go on a phone app or downloaded onto any device you can just pop earphones in and listen to it anywhere.
Phone numbers
It is always good to talk when feelings of worry or depression set in. So, keep the phone numbers of people you can speak to or the url for your heartie support group.
Food and drinks
Good healthy foods and drinks you enjoy. (Nothing that will go off in the box of course) It could even be a number for your favourite restaurant, a recipe, a snack bar, or a pre-prepared mix for brownies etc.
Your favourite scents
Are you a person who loves the scent of pine or citrus? Got a favourite perfume that brings memories of summer? Get them in the box! Your favourite scented candle or even that smell of engine oil brings you right back to your dad’s garage. Anything that will trigger a good memory.
Your favourites
Your favourite fluffy jumper, a glittery eyeshadow, a fidget toy, crystal or pebble, stress ball. Anything that you can do with your hands and touch or feel can help you to relax by focusing your mind on something that feels nice. Slime if you really want!
The practice of grounding your thoughts is what you want to achieve. Triggering positive memories and thoughts by tried and tested methods. You will only know what they are for you.
You can even have an on-the-go self-soothe box. Something small from the list you can carry with you in a bag or pocket, or in the car. Even if it’s pictures saved to a mobile phone.
A letter to yourself
If nothing else, write yourself a letter. Tell yourself that you have got through each and every one of these episodes of feeling overwhelmed and you will get through this one.
Be kind to yourself and make a list of things to chant to yourself. “I am healing well”, “this feeling will pass” any mantras you may say when meditating or even what you would say if someone else was feeling this way. Take your own advice!
You could include some directions of what you can do to change how you feel. For instance, my daughter includes things like:
Using a mindful technique, changing your environment, taking a walk, practicing a breathing exercise, writing out what you are feeling, thinking and needing at this moment or finding a distraction.
Open your soothe box whenever you need to. Keep it close and hopefully, you will find in time you it less and less and it becomes a box of happy memories.
And as always I am here.
