In today’s relaxamation, I am going to explore when you find yourself crying unexpectedly since your heart attack, heart surgery, cardiac arrest or cardiac diagnosis. Crying is okay and can help you find emotional healing after a cardiac event.
If you don’t know what a relaxamation is, then you may want to read my blog or listen to the episode called Relaxamations Explained – The Big Calm & The Feel-Good Factor.
Please do not listen to the relaxation segment of this episode while driving or operating machinery.
Listen here for the full relaxamation or read on for more details ….
After a heart attack, heart surgery, cardiac arrest, a diagnosis of heart failure or any other cardiac event, people often expect the focus to be on the physical recovery.
- Your medications.
- Your appointments.
- Your blood pressure.
- Your activity levels.
- Your wound healing.
- Your heart.
But what about everything that has happened emotionally?
What about the shock?
- The fear?
- The sadness?
- What about the loss of the life you thought you had before your cardiac event?
Even when your treatment has gone well, you may still feel as though something has been taken away from you. You may be grieving your old sense of safety.
You may be grieving your independence, your confidence or the person you felt you were before.
You may be grieving plans that have changed, activities you cannot yet return to, or the future you once imagined without having to think about your heart.
You may even be grieving the simple ability to go through your day without wondering what every sensation in your body means.
That is a lot to carry.
And sometimes, that sadness comes out through tears.
You may find yourself crying over something that seems quite small. A song on the radio. A hospital letter arriving through the door. Someone asking whether you are all right. Looking at a scar. Seeing an old photograph. Watching other people getting on with their lives.
Or you may cry for no reason that you can easily explain.
I remember sitting at home after my heart attack, with my leg in plaster and unable to look after myself properly, crying and feeling completely lost.
Sometimes the tears came without warning.
At the time, I did not necessarily understand everything that I was feeling. I just knew that life did not feel the same.
Perhaps you have experienced something similar.
You may also have been told how lucky you are.
You may have been encouraged to stay positive, be grateful or look on the bright side.
Of course, you may feel grateful.
You may feel incredibly lucky to be here.
But gratitude does not cancel out grief.
Relief does not cancel out fear.
Hope does not mean you are never allowed to feel sad.
You can be thankful that you survived and still be upset about what happened.
You can be making progress and still have difficult days.
You can be strong and still cry.
Crying is not a sign that you are failing in your recovery.
It is not proof that you are weak.
And it does not mean that you are going backwards.
Tears can be one of the ways your mind and body release some of the emotional pressure you have been holding inside.
You do not need to apologise for them.
You do not need to explain them.
And you do not need to stop them simply because someone else feels uncomfortable.
Today, I want to give you permission to feel whatever you are feeling.
You do not have to force yourself to cry during this Relaxamation. There is no right response.
You may cry.
You may feel emotional without tears.
You may feel calm.
You may feel numb.
You may simply enjoy the opportunity to rest.
Whatever happens is perfectly all right.
The purpose of this Relaxamation is to help you treat yourself with greater gentleness and compassion.
To remind you that your feelings are part of your healing.
And to help you begin to believe: I am allowed to cry.
Today’s Affirmations:
Say your affirmations 5 times each as a set. Repeat your set of affirmations at least twice a day.
The more you use them, the bigger the impact. Add them to a habit that you do every day. While cleaning your teeth, driving, running, walking your dog, washing the dishes, when you first wake up or the last thing at night.
I am allowed to cry
My feelings are part of my healing
I can feel deeply and still move forward
Your Self-Reflection and Journaling Prompts are:
Use these questions as journaling prompts, consider them quietly during meditation or simply give yourself a few moments to think about your answers.
- When I see another person crying, particularly in public, what thoughts or feelings arise in me? What might this reveal about the messages I have learned about crying?
- Where, and with whom, do I feel safe enough to let my emotions show?
- What is one gentle and comforting thing I can do for myself when I feel sad?
You may also wish to complete this sentence: When I give myself permission to cry, I am giving myself permission to…
Something important
Feeling sad, low or tearful can be part of adjusting after a cardiac event. However, you do not have to cope with persistent or overwhelming sadness on your own.
Please speak to your GP, cardiac rehabilitation team or another healthcare professional if your low mood continues, interferes with your everyday life or leaves you feeling hopeless.
And if you are having thoughts about harming yourself or not wanting to be here, please seek urgent help.
Asking for help is not weakness either. It is another way of taking care of yourself.
Where to Listen
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